Creepy Dr Man

Have you ever been a bit creeped out by a Doctor? Ok, let me explain. Oh, and guys, you many not want to read this as it pertains to female parts.

I had to go to the doctor the other day. I was a bit nervous because A) it was a specialist, B) it was a new doctor, and C) is was a male doctor! A and B would normally have me nervous, but having a male doctor really threw me off. See, I ALWAYS have female doctors. My Primary Dr is a woman. My OB-GYN is a woman. Hell, my Dentist is a woman! I know that it shouldn’t matter and doctors are supposed to be professional. Men and women are equally qualified. Blah, blah, blah, whatever. I just feel more comfortable when I have to ask questions about sensitive issues or have people digging around somewhere that they have those same parts and may even have been through the same things. But, no such luck in this case. With me having to see a specialist, I had to go to who my Dr recommended.

Well, let me just tell you, all that day I was so nervous. I was so bad that I made Shelly take off from work and go with me. (Although it really didn’t take much convincing to skip work!) Anyway, we had the hardest time finding the place. When we finally got there I was late. But that didn’t really matter since my appointment was at 1 and the Dr didn’t get back from lunch till 1:30. Nice, huh? Anyway, after filling out the new patient “we need to know if your second cousin on your mama’s side ever had a cold cuz it may effect your health” forms that always take an hour to do, I finally got called in. Nervous. Shaking. Thinking about running out of the front door. Damn, should have thought about that before putting on this paper dress. By the way, why do those things never close? Can we get a paper dress for the large chested women, please? Finally, the Dr comes in. Yup, that’s a man. I’m just sitting there clinging to my paper dress thinking, “this thing is about to rip” since I’m trying to pull it closed. He’s talking. It’s pretty much the same stuff that my Dr said. Some questions, some statements, then, “Alright, let’s have a look shall we!” He said that a little too enthusiastically for my tastes. Oh well. Let’s just get this over with. So, he begins his exam. Not even a minute into it, he starts to creeps me out. “My, you have a beautiful Cervix!!” And he didn’t just say it. He said it really enthusiastically. I ‘m creeped out! What do you say to that? “Ummmm, thanks….” I look over at Shelly, who also looks a bit thrown off at the comment. And yes, I made her go in with me with explicit instructions to stay near my head! As he continues on with the exam, he continues to comment on how it’s really just beautiful. Ummmm… Stop! When he was done, he asked me if I wanted to come see him for a follow up or my regular Dr. Regular DR Please!!! Of course before I could say anything, he says “ You should come here one more time then you can go back to her.” Damn! He just wants another peek at my cervix. I think that appointment might just have to be canceled.

Shelly and I are leaving. “I was tempted to go see what a beautiful cervix looks like.” “I would have killed you dead!”