Are you Ready for some Football??

I heard the cutest thing in the world today. My sister said that when my niece(1 and a half years old) sees football on TV, she starts waving her arms wildly in the air and makes a loud Woo Woo kind of sound. That's my girl!!

10 Year Reunion

I know, I haven’t written for a while. I guess I’m just been in a kind of funk. I’m worried about my friends and my house and all the crap I’ll have to deal with when I get back to work. I didn’t even leave the house yesterday. Kind of sad. I’m getting better, though. I actually left the house today and I MAY be going out tonight. I say may because it’s this Mormon woman’s B-day party. I know her from high school, but I don’t know any of her friends. That means board games and punch with a bunch of people I don’t know that all think I’m going to hell. I’m not so sure that I’m up for it.

I guess I should tell ya’ll about my 10 year high school reunion. It sucked. I really wanted to see a coupe of friends and catch up on old times. I didn’t enjoy high school the first time around, so I wasn’t that optimistic about the reunion. Good thing too because I was very disappointed. I would say that there were less than 100 people there. You may say, oh that’s good. Well, not when you have a graduating class of over 600! I would say that 45 minutes after getting there, I was ready to go. Most conversations went like this:

THEM : Oh Hi!! How are you? You look great!

ME : Hi. I’m good. You look great too. How are you?

THEM : Good. So, are you married? Any kids? Where are you at now?

ME : No, not married, no kids. I live in Florida.

THEM: Oh, that’s nice… (look of pity in their eyes) You have to meet my husband. And our lovely kids, aren’t they cute?(while showing me pictures)

Nice Huh. That was just about the end of the conversation. We didn’t even pretend like we would keep in touch. Within the first 30 minutes, the cliques had already formed. All of the “popular people” sat in the back at their own table and didn’t speak to anyone else. All of the black people, well the majority anyway, sat at one table and socialized. All of the athletes were at one table and the choir/band/drama kids were at another. There were a couple of non social people hanging out in the entry way to the place. Why they came in the first place, I have no clue. All of the people that were close to me didn’t come. There was a good friend of mine, but he and I went there together. We could have just hung out NOT spending $85 to get dressed up and be uncomfortable. And then there was my ex-best friend. She came over and hugged me like we were still cool. Ummm… No! Get off me! “I’m pregnant with my first child!” Good for you, now will you go away? “Oh yeah, say hi to my hubby…” Oh, you mean my ex-boyfriend that you were fucking while we were still together? No thanks, I think I’ll skip that. It’s not that I still have a thing for him, or that I am holding a grudge against her. I’m fine with them living their life and me living mine. It seems to have worked out best for the both of us and we’ve been cool not talking all this time, so why start now? I don’t like liars and that’s what they both are, so I’m fine with them, but I don’t want to be friends now. That pretty much sums up our reunion. Oh, I almost forgot. My stalker was there. Did I ever mention I had a stalker in high school? He would call me and meet me at my locker with flowers and stuff. I would see him in the halls near my classes when his classes were on the other side of the building. In fact, he had pictures of me that I have no idea how he got. School pictures, which means that someone I know gave them to him as well as me walking down the street or just chillin’ in the halls. Real stalker stuff. Anyway, he was there and he sprinted from his chair to give me a hug. Apparently he is married now with 3 kids, but he still wanted to take a picture with me and told me that “You’ll make some man very happy one day...(sigh)”. Ummm, yeah, it was definitely time to go. Unfortunately, they published this book thing with everyone’s Bio’s in it. No one realized that they were going to publish our email addresses… We’ll see if I get any interesting emails in the coming days.

Hurricane Wilma

I just wanted to do a quick little post. I am watching the weather channel right now. Wilma is right over my home. I hope everything is ok. I was supposed to fly back today. I say supposed to because the airport is closed. I just got off the phone with the airline. The soonest I can fly back is this weekend! So, it looks like I'm in VA for a week. I hope all of you in FL are ok. I'll be thinking about you and calling to check in later on. Be safe!

UPDATE - Monday, 6:48pm
According to my neighbors, we have no power or water. My front window is broken and a lot of trees are down, but that's it. If I had parked in my normal parking spot, my car would have been crushed. I missed out on getting a new car! *smile* I've got someone to go in and try to at least stop the water from coming into the house. I'm so glad that BenTheBald is ok, but I couldn't get a hold of ShellyP. When I tried, I got that "All Circuts are busy message". I just spoke to my boss who updated me on a few of my co-workers. The ones he's gotten ahold of all seem to be ok despite having no power and/or water, but he's getting spotty cell service too. I'll have to try to call again later.

UPDATE - Tuesday, 8:12pm
No word from Shelly yet. Power seems to be down in almost all of Broward county. It's out at work now too, so our email servers are down. Any emails will not go through. I only know one person in South Florida that has power right now. They are saying it could take up to 4 weeks to get power back. I've heard from a few co-workers and they tell me everyone seems to be ok, but no specific word on Shelly. If she weren't ok, I think I would have known by now. Most phone lines are down and lots of cell towers are out so it's hard to reach people. I left Shel a voice mail, so I hope she calls back. But last storm, she didn't call me back either, so, I'm not going to let that worry me. I'll keep you updated on anything I hear.

UPDATE - Wednesday, 10:25am
HEARD FROM SHELLY!!! Ok, indirectly, I heard from her. I spoke to my manager just a minute ago. He said he spoke to Shelly's hubby just this morning. They are all doing fine, just without power like everyone else, and running low on gas and water, like everyone else. Her cell died and they don't have a way to charge it. I'm going to have to get her a car charger for Christmas!! Work still doesn't have power, so we still aren't getting email either. They are thinking we won't be back to work till Monday, so I'm not actually missing that much. According to the local paper down there, 2.8 million homes are still without power. If you want more info from people actually down there, the local paper's website is http://www.sun-sentinel.com.

I must be crazy

What was I thinking? I can't live at home with my parents!!! I must have been delusional when I came up with that plan. I've been home for exactly a day and a half and it's already started. I just go the "you aren't going to eat that are you" question. I also got asked today if I was going to work out. AREN'T I ON VACATION????? Plus, did you not see the bag of ice strapped to my foot yesterday?(I hurt my foot the other day...) I'm sorry I'm not a size 6 like my Sis or that I don't do tae bo every day like Mama or take the dog on a 2 hour walk like Daddy. That's not me. Why can't they just be happy with me? I'm not going to last very long here...

Who would play you?

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and he asked me an interesting question. If there was a movie about your life, who would you want to play you? That’s a very difficult question for me to answer. Do you know who you would want to play you? I don’t know if there is an actress out there right now that can capture the essence of me. Not to mention, no one ever says that I look like anyone famous.

It got me thinking about how other people see me versus how I see myself. On the outside, I am a very cheerful, happy person. I am always smiling and I am very motherly. I would do anything (within reason) for a friend and/or loved one and I get along with just about everyone. That’s all true, but there are parts of me that no one sees. I am very self conscious about things I do and I worry about things I have no control over. I have low self-esteem and I obsess over my weight too much. I have this nagging urge to please people, which I want to blame on my Japanese mother, and I have a hard time saying no. I don’t really get mad too much, but a lot of times when I do, you’d never know it. I can hide things really well, but I never lie. I have a difficult time making decisions, but I stick with them when I do. I admit that I have quite a few quirks and habits, but that’s just me.

Rumors...

I feel like such a slacker. I haven’t even thought about what I want to do with my future. I know that I should, but right now I’m just so focused on getting out of here. Whenever I talk to people, they ALWAYS ask me what I’m going to do and my answer is always, I dunno. My friends that are restaurant consultants suggest opening a café. My world traveler friend suggests going to Japan to teach English for a year. My real-estate guru friend is hounding me to buy some land in Georgia or the west coast of Florida. Right about now, I don’t want to think about anything. I’m still working crazy hours. I got home at 10pm last night. That’s a little later than normal, plus I’ve been getting in earlier lately. I don’t think anyone will be shocked when I go.

In fact, there was almost a rumor started that I was going to quit. Juan was asking me about my upcoming vacation. I was telling him that I was excited to go and I was smiling, which doesn’t happen much at work these days. He asked me why I was smiling and started questioning me. (FYI, I’m going to be meeting a friend up there, which is why I was smiling.) I didn’t answer Juan and he started to get very suspicious. I thought he had dropped it, for now. He never really drops anything, but I had figured he’s give me a break for the rest of the day. No such luck. Coincidentally, an old co-worker of ours came by for a visit. She moved about an hour and a half north of here and hasn’t been back since she quit. We still keep in touch and I try to see her whenever I can, but it really isn’t that often. She was in the area and came by for lunch. I knew about it, but it was a surprise to everyone else. Apparently, after lunch, Juan called another ex-coworker/good friend of mine who I spoke to not long afterwards. She knows the whole deal with me and didn’t tell him anything. She said he thought I was going to quit and not come back from my vacation. That’s in a week! He though our other co-worker came by to say a final goodbye to me before I quit. Now, she didn’t tell him about my friend because she didn’t want the rumor when I actually left to be that I went up there for a guy. Of course I broke down and told Juan, so that will be the rumor, but it’s better than having the quitting rumor floating around now. Plus, when I am gone, I won’t care what they say/think about me. I tell you, it’s just crazy around here!!

Do I look Stupid?

If I have to hear one more person say “why don’t you call my Mom/Brother/Cousin/Friend… and they’ll give you real-estate advice”, I’m going to smack someone! Why do they think I’m incapable of doing this? I swear, the conversation would go something like this:

Them: So you want to sell your place?
Me: Yes.
Them: Do you know what you want to list it for?
Me: Yes.
Them: Do you know what other houses in your area are selling for?
Me: Yes.
Them: Do you know what the minimum amount you’ll take is?
Me: Yes.
Them: Do you want to list it with me? (sounding all optimistic)
Me: No.
Them: Alright then. Bye-Bye.

See! See how pointless that conversation is? I don’t need advice. I’m selling a house, not performing brain surgery! Oh, and if you are my friend, don’t just assume that you get to list my house! Especially since YOU SUCK as a realtor! I know she doesn’t read my blog, but it’s good to just get it out there. I mean, I think everyone would agree what when you bring your 2 year old with you to show a house, you aren’t a good agent to have, or is that just me?

Anyway, enough venting. I have 2 people interested in it and I am listing it with a realtor Monday if I don’t have a contract yet. Tomorrow, around 5am~ish, my parents are getting in their car and driving down here to take some of my stuff home. Aren’t they great? So, they’ll be here around 7pm~ish. I’d better have food ready and their bed made up! It still feels weird, like it’s not really happening. I’m sure it’ll sink in when someone is telling me to get out of their house since I don’t own it anymore!

THANKS

I really wanted to thank all of you for the encuraging words. I sometime look around and think, am I going to regret this decision. Then I look at the clock and realize it’s 8:30pm when I got to work at 8am and think, Hell NO! So to all of you who commented and any of you just reading and thinking good thoughts, THANKS!

Shelly – I’m so happy to go, but I am really going to miss you. I really hate the thought of leaving you here. But hey, at least no one will call you by my name anymore!

Twin – You are right. In a hundred years, it won’t matter what any of us did for a living.

Aziza – I’m sorry this is hitting you so close to home, but maybe it’s time for you to do something drastic! Yesterday, I got a fortune cookie that said “Any Troubles You May Have Will Pass Very Shortly”. I know that that could mean anything, but it just served to encourage me more. Maybe I can be your fortune cookie message! Get out Girl!!

Jdid – I hope it does work out for you in a year. I’m gonna be checking up on you!

Brother Buck – it is a very nice place to be in. You’ll get there eventually!

Humanity Critic – I’ll have words with you later!

Update

Thing are progressing very nicely. It’s been 3 days since I made my final decision and I already have 2 people interested in buying the house. It’s not even listed on the market. Mom, while hesitant at first, seems to have come around to the idea. She called me the other day asking me if I was still coming to my high school reunion. “Ummm, Yes. Why?” I was waiting for the “you shouldn’t be spending money when you won’t have a job soon” speech, but it never came! Instead, she told me to bring the dog. She would take care of him until I came up. That would make showing the house, packing, and moving easier on me. What a nice thought, although secretly I think she just really wants the dog to come and if she has to put up with me to have him, she’ll do it! Did I mention that before my niece was born, Mom used to mail the dog presents? She really needs someone to take care of. I feel bad for Daddy when he retires! On another note, I went to the Doctor today for a physical. No big deal. I figure I should visit my doctors and dentist while I still have health insurance. Well, this was a new doctor because my old doctor left town a while ago. I was actually due for a check up anyway. She was really nice and made me feel so comfortable. I was kind of thinking, I wish I weren’t leaving so that I could keep seeing her. Oh well. Anyway, we chatted for a while and then she did her check up of me. She said my blood pressure was high. She was a bit concerned about it. I told her about all the stress at work, which is probably causing it. See why I gotta go! I have to go back in 2 weeks to see if it’s any better. After feeling my throat, she questioned me about recent weight gain/loss. She was concerned about my Thyroid. No one has ever mentioned my thyroid to me before. She said not to be too concerned until we get some blood work done. That means I have to get blood drawn in the morning! I HATE NEEDLES!! But if it is my thyroid, at least I’ll know why it’s sooooo hard for me to lose weight and why my hands are always cold. I’m not going to think about it for the next two weeks. I have too many other things going on.

No more Headaches!

I am ecstatic today. I know that its sooooo bad, but I am. Last night I spoke to someone interested in buying my house! She is a sister of a friend and looking for her first home. I hope that it all works out for both of us because I am so ready to go. I didn’t work at all yesterday. I’ll admit, I woke up thinking about code, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go in. I also woke up with a headache, but that might have been from some of Uncle Bob’s homemade peach “wine”. Hey, I had to celebrate my decision somehow! I spent yesterday morning not doing anything. I gave the dog a bath and started throwing away stuff that I knew I wouldn’t be taking with me. I planned in my head what I would do before selling and I just watched TV. Around mid day, I really felt like a bum. I ended up going to a friend’s house. He was having an open house because he is selling and moving on. I had never been to an open house, plus I never get to chat with his wife and play with his kids. I had a great time over there and they reassured me that I was doing the right thing. And they made a really good point. What’s the worse that can happened? If nothing else, I still have a degree in Electrical Engineering from a very prestigious university. I could always get a job in engineering again if I really wanted to. I am already starting to feel happy. This is the start of something good!

Decision!

Alright, I’ve decided. I have made a very big decision that I have been mulling over for a while now. I’ve decided to quit my job. I know. “Shhhh! Don’t you know this is the internet? They could be reading this!!” Yeah, I really don’t care. I am not happy here. And that’s the bottom line. So, in quitting my job, I have to leave Florida. That’s probably the hardest part of it. In order to keep my sanity, I will sell my home that I love and pay off all of my debts. Then I’ll move back home to my parents’ house and re-assess my life. I know. I’m 27, going on 28. I will have no job, no place of my own, and no future plan, but I will be happy. I don’t need a big future plan to be happy. I can be perfectly happy working anywhere, even going back to waitressing or retail. Stress free jobs compared to what I have been going through. All of my life, I have just done the right thing. I got good grades in school. I went to college right away and studied engineering. I graduated and got a job. Then I saved and bought a house. I have always done the good, responsible, right thing, and where has that got me? Working all the time coming home to an empty house? I envy people that can change their lives and do something different. I know that I worked hard for my degree and all, but I am just not happy doing this anymore. I am burned out! I think THIS is my mid-life crisis. And isn’t it better to have it now while I am not married and don’t have any kids? It’s it better to quit my job, travel, and decide what I want to do before I have others depending on me? Tomorrow I call a Realtor. Today, I’m just trying to survive.